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- Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called
witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
- Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and
start bragging about it.
- The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
- Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want to people to
know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads
weren't paved.
- How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
- When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of
Algebra.
- You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
- One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a
nice change from being young.
- One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
- Ahh, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
- Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they
don't recognize you.
- If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh
at when you are old.
- First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up
your zipper, then…Oh, my goodness, you forgot to pull your zipper down!
- If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a
smoking jacket, WHY would anyone want to wear a windbreaker??
And best of all…
- I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
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